Silence Sings

I'm in silence. I woke up on Saturday without a voice. I hadn't been screaming, I hadn't been singing too much, and there was nothing I could do to stop the cold that suddenly pounced on me from taking my voice. There is no rapid cure for laryngitis, no matter what the cause. In the meantime, I do what I can, drinking more tea than is healthy for the average college student, enough water to match, and talking with as much force as I can, since I'm told that whispering is about the worst thing I could do. I'm sitting in the coffee shop as I type, with a rapidly cooling cup of tea to my left, mocking me as if it knows that I have no choice but to drink up. I am so sick of tea right now.
Probably the best thing for me would be to take a few naps in a day, but being a college student, life gets busy quickly, and as of late, that has not been a viable option. My friends try to help by telling me to shut up in order to get my voice back faster, but there's a sneaking suspicion in me that there's an ulterior motive behind each demand. It's not easy for me to be quiet; I'm a verbal person by nature. I love to talk, and I rely on my speech to effectively communicate. I don't really know any other way. And it doesn't help that I've had to lead class discussions in the meantime.
So, when this happens at any other point in time, I end up being a state of self-reflection, attempting to garner some kind of spiritual lesson out of it for myself, because obviously, God speaks through everything, right? Usually, the conclusion that I come to is that God just wants me to shut up and listen. To Him, to others, and just take the focus off of myself. That in-and-of itself is a difficult task, but especially when you're sick and you need to focus on your own wellbeing. But I would try, constantly reminding myself to change my focus, to look at someone else or try to feel the Spirit.
Confession: I come from a traditional church background and have always been skeptical of charismatic churches, not for their theology, but because the people that I've met from them give me an overall sense of distrust. I'm sure I'll talk more about at some point later. I say that to provide a sense of understanding for my next 'radical' statement: I don't feel the Spirit.
Now, let me explain. I'm not saying that I've never known God's presence or I've never felt the moving of God speaking to me. I have, just not often. And when I take the time to sit and purposely yearn and look for the Lord, He doesn't seem to want to show up. He likes to catch me off-guard. I'm getting better at the discipline of being still and meditating. But at the moment, it is the times when I've decided to shut up and listen that I don't hear a thing.
So here's my controversial point. God doesn't always speak. God gives us common sense and the ability and blessing of literacy so that we learn and know things about Him that stay with us. God's portable! We don't have to wait and ask to meet with Him and have Him speak with us. He speaks and expects us to listen, or at leasts allows it to wait and take time to sink in for those moments when we actually pause our lives. Sometimes He lets us do it ourselves. So God didn't take away my voice so that I'll listen to Him more intently. I'm sick. It happens. And if I'm really ready to do some soul-searching, I'm sure I've got a huge stockpile of things to dwell on that He's told me beforehand.
Okay, maybe that's not so controversial after all.