Idols and Shadows

I decided that I needed to write again. However, in trying to settle on a topic, I ended up looking back to my last post to see what I had written. After going through it, here I sit, on my bed, my eyes overflowing with tears.

I confess, that effort to live out sanctification has failed over the past few months.

It seems as though whenever I put something ahead of God, it ends up being people instead of things. Idolatry is not meant purely for golden calves, as Sunday school may have had us believing as young children. But I seem to make idols out of the people that I interact with, placing my relationships with others above my relationship with the Lord. And I'm afraid that concerning the lesson I learned, I did not treasure it in my heart as I should have.
I had said yes to God, and I had meant yes. But the circumstances that came after that decision caused me to act as though I had said no. And I didn't realize it. I did not look critically enough at the way that I was living in regards to the whole situation to see what I was doing. And with the fact that it revolved around others, leads me to ponder the concept of love.

I've been thinking lately a lot about the concept of loving others, and what that looks like. Partially inspired by the thought of love languages, I've realized that the way that I try to show love to others is more the way that I want love to be shown to me, and not necessarily the way that they would like to receive love. I know, this sounds kinda weird, but if you understand what I'm talking about, then you can understand how this is potentially a huge topic to dwell on. There are some people with whom I am hyper-aware of how I treat them. Past experience has taught me that my attention needs to be direct to the words that I choose to use and the tones that I emphasize. How I talk to one of my sisters, for example, cannot be echoed in how I talk to another, and both of these may be different than how I talk to the third. Everyone receives words and acts of love differently. So how can I show that?

On the other side of things....how can I show love to God? For One who epitomizes the word, whose very existence is its definition, is reflecting Him how I show Him I love Him? Seems that way to me. Huh - look at that. One sentence, and I may have an answer for once.

But here's the catch. To reflect God, to show our love for Him in reverent adoration, both to Him and to others, we must know who He is. What He stands for, what characteristics abound in His being. Same with others; in order to see how they love and receive likewise, we must know them. Who they are, what they stand for, what their characteristics are. This takes time. This takes purposeful relationship building. And in trying to develop that, it seemed to me that I had lost sight of the Foundational Relationship, the one essential both to my own survival, but also to that of my friendships. Knowing and reflecting Christ is the best jump-start to any relationship. And by forgetting Him, I had allowed my other relationships to crumble.

"The dearest friend on earth is a mere shadow compared to Jesus Christ."
- Oswald Chambers